A Very Drunk Christmas
by Narcissaist
Summary: Christmas with Bellatrix and Narcissa and Voldemort! And oh yea! Spiked eggnog! C:


The snow was falling lightly outside, coating the grounds in a thick white blanket. All was peaceful and quiet in Malfoy Manor. Every one was in their beds fast asleep. Almost everyone.

"Get up! Get up, it's Christmas!" Bellatrix LeStrange and Draco Malfoy were running around the manor screaming at the top of their lungs. Draco ran into his parents' bedroom and jumped up and down on their bed to wake them up. While Bellatrix went to her fellow Death Eaters' rooms.  
"Get your lazy ass outta bed! Santa Claus came last night! I'm not even fucking joking! Come look at all the presents!" Bella jumped off of Antonin Dolohov and ran out of the room.

"Narcissa what are you doing?" Dolohov asked.  
"It's Christmas was Bella" Lucius answered for her.  
She finished spiking the eggnog and grabbed a huge glass of it. The others quickly followed suit, and trailed after her into the sitting room where Bella and Draco were opening presents.

After 3 hours if opening presents and 3 more bowls of spiked eggnog:

"What the hell happened in here for Merlin's sake?!" The Dark Lord thought he would grace is followers with a visit. But he wasn't sure if he should stay or leave now.  
"Bellatrix get down off that fireplace before you fall and get a concusion!" Voldemort went over to help her down. She wrapped her arms around him and refused to let go.  
"Master! Take me! Here and now! I want you to ravish me with all that is the Dark Lord!" Bella yelled.  
"Bellatrix don't throw yourself at The Lord!"  
"Oh shut up Cissy! You're one to talk, I saw you with Draco!"  
Narcissa gapped at her for a moment before quickly closing her mouth. "I haven't the slightest idea of what you are talking about."  
"Oh just admit the fact that you are fucking your son." Voldemort said bored with the matter.  
"I shall do non of the such, for it is not true. Right Draco?"  
"You're so sexy mum. Can we go have another go in your bed?"

"I love you Rodolphus! I want to be with you forever!"  
"But were married Lucius! We can not!"  
"If we are married then it shall simply be an affair. It is still a relationship. Now. Let us go up stairs and have sexual relations with one another to signify our relationship."  
"I love you Lucy."

"It's just not fair, Dolohov! I deserve to be with the Dark Lord! Not Rockwood! He is not his most faithful!"  
"Not in that sense anyways." Dolohov said catching a peek of Rockwood with the master.  
"That should be me!" Bella continued to whine.  
"Don't you have a husband to be fucking?"  
"He's busy fucking my brother in law" she pouted.  
"Well we could always have a go." Dolohov suggested.

"That was amazing Ruddy. I knew it would be fantastic. I love you."  
"Run away with me Lucy. We'll go somewhere that we can be married."

"Mother please stop drinking that, you've had too much already."  
"A little eggnog doesn't hurt anyone."  
"You've had almost 2 bowls!"  
"My limit is 4 dear."

"Oh master I am so glad you decided to sit with me and not with Rockwood." Bella smiled.  
"Well my dear Bella I must talk to you. I must tell you something of great importance."  
"Oh anything my lord! You can tell me anything!"  
"You see Bellatrix-"  
'Bellatrix? Ohh that ain't good.'  
"You have fallen from power my dear."  
"What?!"  
"I'm afraid Rockwood has become my left hand man." Voldemort got up and went back to Rockwood.  
"Yea left hand man, both left hand and mouth." Dolohov said as he sat next to Bella. "Wanna have sex noowwww?"

It was 4 o'clock in the evening at Malfoy Manor. All the fruit cake had been thrown away, all the presents unwrapped. And all was quiet. All that could be heard was the noises from the peacocks outside, disgruntled because of the cold weather.  
Inside:  
Voldemort and Rockwood were slow dancing in the sitting room; Narcissa was drinking more eggnog while Draco was sucking on her neck; Lucius was sleeping upstairs in Rodolphus' arms; and Bella and Dolohov were making out underneath the mistletoe.

Finally.

* * *

Merry Christmas every one! Or whatever holiday that you may celebrate. I hope you have an epicly awesome day!

This was my first comedy fic. I hope you enjoyed it! My sister said it was very funny. She is the comedian in the house, I suppose it must be at least some what good :) leave a review telling me what's you think =)


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